So... this week was not the best but it has been pretty good to me. I feel like life for me at this point in my life is an... 'effort', in the sense that I have nothing (short-term) to show for. Graduation is in one year and eight months' time and only then am I planning to make a trip home to Malaysia to catch up with friends and family - my old life. So in terms of input, I'm doing a lot of it at the moment; output, the occasional good grade on a test and satisfaction that I receive, I guess. I suppose that's how life is, right?
Transition however, is the hardest. Especially one that continues and compounds. But with a great support system, I'm sure that individual will be just fine.
When I was first architecting the plan of me moving and my life here in West Jordan, I didn't think it would be simple. Sure, it needed a lot of planning, time, communication and effort. But it was worth it. When I first came here, I did not know what to expect. I never really thought much about my social life, since I've been pretty much out of the scene for almost two years at that time. Even when I had my social circles, I somehow felt disconnected... like... I did not fit in.
Perhaps I am, by nature, awkward. Awkward in the sense that I'm weird and random and crazy at times. I cling onto walls with plungers and I have a superpower - the Sun. Yes, every day, it is my job to will the Sun to rise and set; as you might think, I've gotten used to it and now, it is effortless, I almost forget that I even have that superpower anymore. But as long as you see the Sun rising and setting, it's still there.
Joke aside, people say that I am a 'people-person' (I don't doubt them, since they're people after all?) I love getting to know people. Perhaps because of this quality, I 'know' more people than I know them. I just wish I knew them better in the latter sense. I would like to be a friend. The most wonderful, terrific, bestest friend any person could have in the entire face of the planet. I know that this is almost impossible... the competition is hot; but I will try my very best, in my own way.
So the problem is... that I am very, very picky. I guess that is why so many of my close 'cabinet' friend positions are still left vacant. Don't get me wrong - I love and enjoy the friends that I currently have. It's just that sometimes, I find that they cannot relate to me. I want to think deeply and discuss about thoughts. I want to make sense of the world and I want them to help me make sense of it in their eyes. I want to know their thoughts, their ambitions, their desires... Put simply, I want them to color my understand of this temporal world that we currently occupy. They do not have to like the same things that I do, or believe the same things. The least I expect is for them to be open-minded and to dream on.
I want to talk for hours on end with you. I want to laugh with you until we each achieve six-pack nirvana. I want for us to have fun, be silly, enjoy life. I want for us to take walks and talk about anything under the Sun and anything above it.
In turn, I want to be the best friend of a friend that I can possibly be for you.
I bet that I would have found you in the future. And I am thoroughly excited at the thought.
Can't wait to meet you, Dear Friend. :)
Past Week's Quote:
"Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." – Lao Tzu